i have several little worlds inside my brain. one of them is dedicated entirely to space. there are billions of stars in my sky yet your’s shines the brightest. that world is my favorite. it is also the most complicated. i ask myself: why can’t i reach you with this somehow beating heart of mine? and i wonder: if no one in the universe cared about me, am i human at all? are my thoughts a spiritual experience? or am i spiritual being having a human experience? the questions wonder round and round my head with no ceasing. but there are more.
i have a world dedicated to flowers. in the real world of people, there are two types of flowers. roses and sunflowers. both delicate, both beautiful, but boys only want the roses. the cliché ones. they don’t reach for the ones hiding true beauty, intelligence, and naturalism. i’m a sunflower, and i don’t know it yet.
i have a world dedicated to music. without it, i would resort to medications, life would be wrong. the flow of rhyming words no matter the language are the most beautiful thing to have been made by God’s hand. i wonder if He knew how much it would affect me. how it helped carry me through the darkest hours. any kind, any time, all day and night, it’s my only addiction. it fills my veins like a wonderful drug. side effects of the sounds are including, but not limited to: sadness, love, hate, anger, and joy. listen with care, act with caution.
there is a galaxy dedicated to my illness. the most apparent of all, i would gladly be rid of it, if at all possible. i would tear it’s core to pieces like it did my heart. the galaxy has whispering voices. they say to stop trying, to not be pathetic. they tell me lies that can only be seen as truths. they say you don’t like me around, they want me dead as well. they will not stop me. i will win against them in the end. i will say: no, you stop trying. i won’t give in. you stop being pathetic, your words are meaningless. you stop lying, and try to start loving. make me love myself. that will be the day i will have a new world. it’s dedicated entirely to caring. caring for you, my friend, family, work, books, music, art, others, and foremost, myself.
the world will overflow; i’ll have to make another, and another, and another until the worlds of flowers, space, music, equality, and you collide to one. it shall be called love. and it will reign forever; nothing will tear it down but lovers themselves. if they leave you for another, remember. real eyes realize real lies. my world will not shatter, the walls will not crumble. they shall be more fortified, more prepared. knowledge will be added to my world of love. unconditional love will be the heaven on earth known to me and me only. it creates a feeling deep down, something i never allowed myself to feel. Peace.
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( ◠‿◠ ) ♡《ＫＡＫ》