How to Ask Someone to Homecoming

Satire

 

The school year has begun, and with that comes the Homecoming season. Nervous young boys and maybe some girls will be taking that final step to ask their crushes out, or maybe even just a friend. These nerves may get in the way of taking that step so I’ve developed the top three ways to ask someone to Homecoming, just to help you out.

 

  • Text Them- The very best way to tell someone you’re interested is to simply text them. A good example of invitation via text would be “Heyyyyyyy hoco?”, the more y’s you use in hey the more genuine and confident you sound and the shortening of Homecoming to hoco will make you seem very cool and hip.
  • Ask Them Through Their Friend- Another adequate way to ask someone to Homecoming is to ask their friend to ask them for you. By doing this, your soon to be future date will be impressed with all of your social connections they’ll have to say yes.
  • Stalk Them- While this one is quite time consuming, it is easily the most effective way. All you have to do is make one of those signs asking the person to homecoming, and follow them around with it until they say yes. That means you have to be outside their front door in the mornings when they leave for school, at their table while they’re eating lunch, and looking in through their window as they go to bed. By dedicating yourself to them so wholly, the person will see how serious you are about going to this dance with them.

 

Now that you’ve absorbed all my tips and tricks, try them out. If one doesn’t work, just try the next one. However if you get to my third tip and end up with a restraining order, take that as a no and just try someone else. Good luck!